5 Tips to Write Traditional Wedding Vows

traditional wedding vowsThe point of traditional wedding vows is to make a public statement defining how you feel about the new life you are embarking on and to affirm your commitment to your partner. Writing traditional wedding vows gives you the perfect opportunity to set the tone for your wedding and your marriage. There is another side effect and that is, in writing your wedding vows, each of you is compelled to consider why you are getting married and why each of you is marrying the other. It is a way to open up the romantic lines of communication that go beyond the simple “I love you”.

Here are five tips for writing traditional wedding vows:

1. Write the traditional wedding vows together. This is the first joint effort as a couple and it allows you, as a couple, to sort out what matters most to you as you discuss the kind of message you want your vows to portray. It also reveals the way you best work together. Do you want to sit together and brainstorm the vows or do you want to work on them separately and then share your ideas and refine them together?

2. List each other’s good points and include some of them in the vows and then list the good things about your plans for marriage such as your hopes and dreams for the future. Use these good things as a springboard for making vows to each other to treasure each other and to devote yourselves to the marriage and its goals.

3. Write as if you were writing only to speak to each other and avoid trying to impress people with your poetry or an overblown and overly romantic speech that is meant to impress people. Speak from the heart to each other in your vows and speak in your own words. If you try to be too flowery and use big words, you will not sound genuine.

4. If writing about the tender and gentle feelings you have for each other is difficult, one of the often rendered advice is to read love poetry. However, since many people do not poetry on an ongoing basis, they shudder at the idea of doing something high-faluting with poetry. A better idea for most people is to listen to your favourite music. Whether it is country and western, pop, rock or any other type of music, there are strong emotions in it and music is essentially poetry. Let your favorite music inspire your words. A side benefit is that this music has already tapped into your emotions. Even if you do not use words or a line from the song, listening to it will bring these emotions to the forefront and stir up your creativity.

5. If you have favorite sayings or quotes, include one of them in your traditional wedding vows. This roots your wedding day to the ground by bringing your life together so far into the vows and setting the stage for shared beliefs that will strengthen your marriage. The saying does not have to be artistic or romantic. It just needs to be symbolic of your personalities.

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