Wedding renewal vows are different from wedding vows. You already know about marriage and your views may have changed since you said your vows. While romance should be a thread running through your vows, things are different now from the day you first got married. And yet, there are elements that are the same. For instance, the wedding renewal vows are not just about how the marriage has been so far but it is about your plans, hopes and dreams for the future.
5 tips for writing wedding renewal vows
1. Before setting any words to paper, be completely honest with yourself and with each other and talk about what problem or problems you are trying to resolve. If something happened that created a crisis in the relationship, bring that up regardless of how distasteful the topic is. You cannot build a new commitment to each other if the underlying foundation is rotten. Talk about forgiveness and trust and make that the focus of your vows. Ensure that each of you is willing to make changes that will make the marriage better and stronger than before. This could be a long process because if there is a sense of betrayal, you have to make sure that it is healed enough so you can discuss it with your spouse.
2. Be yourselves in the actual writing of the vows. By now you already know how you best work together and in writing your renewal wedding vows, let that pattern continue. Either sit down together and craft your renewal vows or work on them separately and then combine the elements that appeal most to both of you. Sometimes in marriages one person becomes the spokesperson for the marriage but this is not the time to have one person do all the communicating. If this happens, there is the risk that the other person will appear surprised at hearing the vows for the first time at the ceremony. This can be very emotional because even in the best of relationships, there is often something about the other person that can irk you. If the relationship has hit a rocky patch, talking about vows to each other can be very painful. Let your feelings out. This is the best time to be emotional so that each of you can be completely authentic with the other.
3. Include mention of the things you have accomplished so far. This can include children, the creation of a new home, improvements in your career, learning how to be a better person by sharing, and learning from your mistakes.
4. Explain briefly why you are renewing your vows. Some reasons include a celebration of the happiness your marriage brings to you, the desire to share your life with your friends and family, and the wish to remind yourselves of just how lucky you are.
5. If there is a life changing event taking place such as children leaving home, retirement, moving to another geographical area, or recovering from a life-threatening illness, make reference to how you wanted to take this opportunity to remind yourselves of your original commitment to each other and celebrate that you are both able to recommit and write wedding renewal vows with the same passion.